Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Annika's Philosophy

5 years old:

“Halloween is a time that’s filled with trouble. The world is full of problems.”

“I’m glad there are bees in my life”

“Look! The flowers are blooming! It’s almost the Fourth of Easter!”

“Wow, that looks harder than it looks!”

“Ahh, the smell of pizza… it sure graces my heart!”

Annika was in the back seat of the car singing earnestly a song about camels in her ‘pretty voice’:
“Oh, camel of the dawn! Camel of the sunset… I will sing you a camel song, for you have saved my life!”

Later, she sang a song called, ‘Bear of Destiny in the Moonlight’

And later again, a sequel to the camel song: ‘Camels on the Road 2: Ocean Style’

Annika came up to me, stroked my cheek lovingly and said, “Mommy, I love grasshoppers. They make ALL the difference!”

2 years old:

“Why do butterflies fly?”

“Dancing is hard work”

“Is today tomorrow?”

“I just NEED to play instruments!”

“I wish I could be an elephant”

At 2, AK was in her crib singing: “Outer space is in the sky… outer space is in the sky...You love me, I love you… outer space is fun… won’t you say you love me? Won’t you say you love me? Wo-wo-wo-wo-won’t you say you love me too? Up in the sky, in outer space. Won’t you go to outer space? Riding yourself is not easy, riding yourself isn’t easy up there in outer space”

Singing in her crib: “Up in the sky, it’s night time. When you love me, but you don’t, when you fly in the sky, when you say it’s all gone… I’m sorry...it’s really not so bad. What do you want to be when you grow up? Like Bear Bear. Won’t you say you love me too? Won’t you say you love me too?

Singing in her crib. First she announced, “This song is called ‘Outer Space’
“Outer space… I can’t remember what the words is. There’s twinkle twinkle little star. Twinkle twinkle little star away in a manger, won’t you say you love me too? Hey, that’s not how that goes! Twinkle twinkle little lion. That’s not how that goes! Away with the diamonds in the sky- that’s not how that goes!

“I have wished that I could climb onto a cloud every day”

“Why does stuff be hot?”

Stream of consciousness: “Ok, I’m going to make spaghetti and teeth. And monsters and bunny rabbits and a kangaroo and some ghostizz, and some mouthiz, and cheese and some babies… here, I made this special treat for you, and here you go. You can taste all of the things in here, all of the things that I made.”

Once Annika tried to jump into the TV to get into the Max and Ruby show. When it didn’t work, she mused, “Maybe when I’m bigger.”

3 years old:

“Ugh, I wish my baby dolls would poop REAL poop!”

“Why does babies has fluffy skin?”

“Wow! I almost did my best!”

“I like being bored sometimes. Bored means by yourself.”

“Mommy, I love you. You let me do everything a robot will do.”

“Mommy, I’m the best kid in the world!”

“I can do anything that you are hoping of!”

“Mommy, you are tougher than love!”

“This is a song I always sing with my friends. It’s a thousand years old.”

To Adam and I: “You should take me to the park. That would be awesome- it would be so...authentic!

Me: “Where are all the dinosaurs?”
Annika: “They died and went down into the sand.”
Me: “Why did they die?”
Annika: “A big comedy fell from space and blockded out the sun!”

Annika refers to the U.S. as the ‘North Estates’

We were talking about what aliens are and whether they exist or not. Annika thought for a while and said, “I think WE are the aliens!”

“How do I know this isn’t a dream? I think all this is just a dream”

“...because God said, ‘If you break things, people will yell at you’.”

“I want to be an astronomer when I grow up. What’s an astronomer?”

“How many sand is there? A million twelvedy?”

Annika is upstairs singing, “Yoo, yoo, stip to my yoo… yoo, yoo, stip to my yoo…. stip to my yoo my dahyeeng”

“Here,” Annika says, handing me something imaginary, “is something hotfulness and joyfulness and everlastingness”

Annika went through a long phase of singing an ongoing song about a ‘Humble Bee’

Annika is singing a song called ‘Penguins of Glory’

Annika at 5

5 years old:

Annika points to the floor where she has made a huge mess.
“Look, Mommy- a big mess! But don’t worry...You’ll clean it up!”

Annika asked if she could go outside and I said no. She got upset, shook her head slowly and said, “You are a strange, sad little man!”

Me: “No, you JUST had mashed potatoes!”
AK: “No, that have been HOURS ago!”

when exasperated: “Oh, for quiet out loud!”

her version of a curse word is “Oh brudduhs…”

Actual conversation:
AK: Want to play a game?
Me: Sure, what?
AK: It’s a game I made up, called ‘Nut Dazzle’
Me: Uh, how do you play?
AK: Just follow the mystery, man!

For Christmas Annika asked for a credit card, a banana split and a metal detector

AK: Laundry is hard work!
Me: Well, hard work is good!
AK: What are you, a vegetarian??

Me: It’s cool
AK: What?
Me: I said, it’s cool
AK: You sound like you’re from the 90’s

(While we were writing something together)
AK: “Will you take away the s’s and the e’s? Because I don’t like them, and they’re for smart combos.”

Annika was watching some of those British guards on TV that never move and we were telling her how they can never move, talk or smile. “Wow, being a guard is like my worst nightmare!”

AK: “I’m Annika Fashion Style! And you are Mommy Fashion Style!”
Me: “What about Daddy?”
AK: “No, he just works at the shoe store.”

“Snow White and the THREE Dwarves. That’s what I call it for short.”

AK: “One of my favorite colors is bleige.”
Me: “You mean beige?”
AK: “No, I mean BLEIGE!”
Me: “What does it look like?”
AK: “Well, I haven’t seen it in a while, so I don’t remember. But I DO love bleige.”

“All of the BSBSS- that spells CoCo Puffs!”

Rhys was acting super crazy and Annika looked at him then over to me and Mimi and said, “Looks like he has a case of the Stewie Bensons”

Me: If you had a cat, what would you name it?
AK: Scrammy
Me: If you had a monkey, what would you name it?
AK: Bananapants
Me: If you had a dog, what would you name it?
AK: Carlos

We recently celebrated a really cool Jewish Passover Seder dinner at my parents’ house w our Bible study group. We did all the actual traditions and it was a whole, long ceremony. I prepped her and tried to get her excited by saying how this was a very ANCIENT ceremony, how it was very special because it was thousands of years old- maybe 3500 years old. Totally deadpan she said, “Oh, so when Poppy was a kid?”

Annika decided she wanted to do a big, elaborate prank on Adam. We spent over an hour searching the whole house for every single small toy we could find, and spent even more time carefully duct taping each one all over his tall, stand-up fan, until every surface was covered w all these toys and it looked totally crazy.
   Annika commented, “This is gonna be the CWANK of the CENTUWWY!”
Later she worried that maybe we had cwanked him TOO hard!

“I think Mommy is 16 years old. That’s how tired she acts.”

On the day of Cameron’s high school graduation:
Rhys: Today is boring day!
AK: Oh yes. Today is HORRIBLE!

Annika walked in on Adam eating a hot dog wiener (by itself) and some Cheetos and he immediately looked guilty. Annika shook her head slowly and said, “Oh, Daddy… there is SO MUCH you don’t understand about this world!”

AK: I need a cheese stick!
Me: Go get one!
AK: I need you to get it for me!
Me: Why?

AK: Because I don’t trust myself to do it.

Annika at 4

4 yrs old:  

There was a HUGE wasp in AK’s room upstairs and since Adam was gone at work I valiantly tried to capture it, but ended up screaming and running around in a panic’d state instead, yelling and waving my arms around and causing a scene.
    Totally deadpan, Annika goes, “Wow, Mommy- if I had known you were going to put on a show I would have bought popcorn!”

“Ugh, you’re such a cardsharper, Mom”

“New York is where babies go to cry. That’s why they call it CryBaby City”

AK: Is this too much soap?
Me: Yes! Too much!
AK: Well I NEED too much soap!

“Life is pretty good, except when it’s being a jerk store!”

AK: Help me spell our address so I can write it!
Me: Ok. 1
AK: ok
Me: 6
AK: ok
Me: 7
AK: ok
Me: 2
AK: ok
Me: 3
AK: A little unusual, but ok
Me: W
AK: ok
Me: H
Ak: (laughs) Sorry, we only used H in the olden times.

Original jokes by Annika: (4yrs)

Q: How many clowns can fit into a small car?
A:  About 6

Q: What do you call something that has 60 windows and 5 wheels?

A.  A skyscraper with wheels

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I Want That!

After seeing a commercial for Go-gurt:  "I want that!"
Me: "What is it?"
Annika:  "It's this stuff that you eat, and it makes you go flat on the floor, and you die."
Me:  "And you WANT that?"
Annika:  "Well... you die very slow!"


Me:  "Go tell Daddy he's in the 'Cottage Room'"
Annika:  "Uh, ok, but... I don't speak Spanish"


"That's not a rash, that's the Stewie Bensons!"

"Mommy, how are you going to explain me?"

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Annika's strange litany of goodbyes

Just moments ago I was watching Annika put her toys away. She was talking to herself, slow enough that I could write it down:

"Bye bye, little rocking horse. See you on Wednesday.
Bye bye, little crayon. See you on fire truck day.
Bye bye, rocking swing, see you on scary day.
Bye bye, goat. See you on summer day.
Bye bye, tea cup. See you drinking tea.
Bye bye, block. See you to wash hands.
Bye bye, stethoscope. See you whenever you check persons.
Bye bye, horse. See you wherever you walk.
Bye bye, dog. See you wherever you bark.
Bye bye, Smurf. See you whenever you clean my house.
Bye bye, poo poo potty. I'll see you on a summer day!"

Friday, September 16, 2011

The Golden Age of Bizarre Comments

First of all, I think I may be confusing my 2 yr. old by only wearing pajamas when I'm home. Yesterday she said, "You need your pajamas to love me!"

"I want to go to the glass store!"  

Annika, to me: "Wow, you smell serious!"

Me:  "What do you want to drink?"
Annika: "Um...how bout chocolate milk, without the milk?"

Sunday, September 11, 2011

House Cleaning

I noticed that Annika (2) had been going around the house for almost an hour 'cleaning' with a damp sponge. She cleaned my arms, my camera, her stuffed animals, the doors, the walls, everything. I told her to clean anything she wanted, but NOT the toilet. She said, "Oh,  but I did! I cleaned that first!"